


Unspoken Agreement

by MayorMimi



Category: Silent Hill (Video Game Series)
Genre: Alternate Canon, Alternate Universe, Awkwardness, Brotherly Affection, Brotherly Bonding, Brotherly Love, Brothers, Childhood Memories, Comfort, Complete, Crying, Cute, Deviates From Canon, Family, Family Fluff, Family Reunions, Fast Food, Feelings, Feels, Food, Gen, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Light-Hearted, Literal Sleeping Together, Male Friendship, McDonald's, Nightmares, Non-Sexual Intimacy, One Shot, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Kissing, Protectiveness, Reminiscing, Rescue, Sharing Clothes, Siblings, Tenderness, Touch-Starved, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2019-11-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:21:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21535864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MayorMimi/pseuds/MayorMimi
Summary: AU where Joshua was chosen to be sacrificed, but luckily, Alex is there to rescue him.
Relationships: Alex Shepherd & Joshua Shepherd
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	Unspoken Agreement

The water rose in the mottled, claw-foot tub, swallowing the slight figure in it. Joshua’s hands had been crushed under his back while his chalky legs hung over one end of the tub. Judging by the cuffs around the boy’s ankles, Alex presumed the same could be said for his little brother’s wrists. No wonder. Examining the fresh bruises marring his cheeks or the blood staining the corner of his lips, it seemed Joshua had put up a fight. He laid unconscious, though his features stiffened then and again to imply either that he had been trapped in a bad dream or he was being stirred awake. Alex supposed Joshua had been sedated, perhaps under the influence of anesthesia. 

With no spare time to spend finding out, Alex’s arms extended into the bathtub and extracted--with some effort--the boy’s pallid body, careful not to wake him up. This was when the tub’s lack of a drain came to his attention. The icy water drenching Alex’s arms when he did almost shocked the man into dropping Josh. It took a few tries to succeed at bringing his arms under the child’s frigid knees and around his wet back. Joshua hummed a little testily, furrowing his brows and rubbing his cheek against Alex’s chest. It almost sounded like the whine he’d make before bargaining with his mother for “five more minutes” on a school morning. Perhaps it was the warm stench of sweat mixed with familiar disinfectant on his big brother’s coat that sent him back to sleep.

Struggling to balance his weight along with Joshua’s, Alex took tentative steps on the porcelain tiles before striding more certainly out the door and onto the groaning floorboards. Sunlight lingered in the dusty air of the hallway, but whether it was morning or evening--the man couldn’t tell. Nights rolled in and out without leaving an impression on him. Alex’s watch broke down long ago and old blood painted the glass carmine. It wasn’t as if he could check with a sacrifice dozing off in his arms.

Alex’s heart sped up as he reached the top of the stairs, slowed down again, then made him wonder if his unsteady heartbeat pressing against Joshua’s ears would rouse the kid. Contrariwise, Joshua seemed able to relax, at last, hanging his neck back and parting his mouth lethargically. The transition was like watching ice melt. Alex rubbed Joshua’s freezing arm, mumbling, “You’re okay, buddy, you’re safe now. Dad’s not gonna get you.”

As he occupied himself with his brother, Alex’s heel missed a step near the bottom of the stairs and he slipped back onto his rear. As a breath caught in his throat, he glanced at Josh—now curled up against his shoulders. Alex bit his lip while internally berating himself for his lack of attentiveness. Joshua stirred slightly, the corner of his eyes creasing. He shifted his head onto his older brother’s shoulder and called Alex’s attention to water drops trapped between his eyelashes. Leftover from the bath? Tears?

He recovered his footing and proceeded down the hallway of peeling, sawdust-yellow wallpaper and memories of getting yelled at by Adam for noisily darting to and fro. Only one sound was louder than his father’s sneezes, Alex recalled, and that was his yelling. A long crack as thin as a strand of hair ran through one of the walls, as if ready to split it in half. The walls bore a few paintings of abstract Impressionism, new objectivity, and other remains of the American century. The discolored carpet under Alex’s hard shoes muffled his steps. This allowed him to walk a little quicker without the worry of rousing his brother. 

At the feet of the porch, wood sorrels and St. John’s worts curled damp with dew; Joshua’s favorites. “I’m only taking photos,” Josh would always promise his older sibling. That’d be before plucking them behind Alex’s back and shoving a handful into his mouth. Alex ought to have never told his weirdo of a brother they were edible. Like his fascination with spiders, Alex could never understand where all that hunger came from. It didn’t seem like anyone in town had a satisfying answer as to how “ _ Adam’s strange boy _ ”—all skin-and-bones—could be so gluttonous. 

“So...what’re you thinking?” asked Alex as he navigated his way through wet pampas grass, half to himself, half to his brother. “Chipotle? Subway? To be frank, I’m more of an Arby's kinda guy.” Josh left the answer in the air. “Guess I’ll have to drive and see.”

Alex settled Joshua in the back of his car, then laid him face-down. Josh’s damp shirt left Alex’s hand chilly and wet. Producing a bobby pin, which Alex bent back into a wire, he picked the padlocks on Joshua’s handcuffs and legcuffs. The stainless steel on his limbs dropped onto the car’s floor. They had left tender streaks of red carved into Josh’s wrists and ankles. He flipped Joshua onto his back again. 

The boy’s mouth parted gradually as if he intended to say something, startling Alex. Yet his eyes opened first and rolled down to meet Alex’s gaze. Josh squinted through the painful blur of his vision. He touched his white throat, wincing at the effort of speaking and closing his mouth again with a click from his teeth. Joshua settled on sitting upright and addressing Alex with an inquisitive gaze. The shadows under his eyes laced his curious stare with weariness, and thus, impatience.

He shivered visibly but did nothing to warm himself. It didn’t seem like he was aware of his surroundings, so perhaps the anesthesia hadn’t worn off yet. “Hey, Josh, can you do something for me?” Alex eyed the drenched t-shirt that clung to Joshua, which would only bring the boy a cold. That was another question Joshua didn’t respond to, coupled with his unnervingly blank stare, so Alex resorted to peeling the soaked shirt off Josh, then unzipping his military jacket and tossing it around his brother’s shoulders. Alex turned, wringing and twisting the water out onto the bare earth under his shoes, feeling his brother’s gaze drill holes into the back of his neck. 

When he glanced back, the kid had hugged his bony knees to his chest and wrapped the coat around his bare torso like a blanket, watching Alex with murky, pitch-black eyes. Due to the boy’s features, the sight reminded Alex of a bird nesting in moss and cattail fluff. Or, as his insect-loving brother would’ve preferred, a caterpillar in a cocoon. From his earliest sketches, it was evident that Joshua had always wanted to don a military uniform. Although an M-65 field jacket paled in comparison to a uniform bedecked with polished badges, it seemed Joshua was nevertheless pleased with his older brother’s jacket. Alex pulled the goldenrod, wrinkled fabric back onto Joshua and bundled him more tightly in his coat, then closed the car door to make his way to the driver’s seat. 

Josh had been battling drowse to keep his eyes peeled. He soon compromised and dropped onto his back to stare at the car roof. Likewise, Alex considered the sky, trying to decide on one last time if it was early in the morning or the final hours of the afternoon. It never before occurred to him how hard that would be to tell with no context given. He sighed and climbed into the front seating.

As it drove on the pebbled road, the car cradled Joshua to and fro while he faded in and out of consciousness. Alex kept an eye on the uneventful stretch of cement before him, bare of anything that wasn’t soil or the occasional tumbleweed. He periodically checked on his brother in the rear-view mirror, with the creeping sense of being a kidnapper rather than a savior. “We’re grabbing breakfast—or dinner—in a bit,” began Alex, determined to chase the nonsensical guilt off, “so any suggestions?” Joshua left the question unsettled.

Alex couldn’t wrap his head around how anybody could sleep with beams of sunlight in their eyes. He wasn’t complaining, though. It was preferable to car sickness, which he recollected Josh was susceptible to in the past. “Looks like you’ve had a long week,” he observed, “and, to be frank, mine’s also been pretty shitty. I’ve got a ton of questions by now, so you better have answers once you start talking.”

It didn’t seem like the wasteland would usher them to an oasis until a familiar, scarlet spot standing where the sky met the road presently implied otherwise. “An-n-nd…” He squinted at the fuzzy horizon, continuing his monologue, “looks like the universe decided to bestow us with McDonald’s. Lord be praised.”

“One Big Mac,” Alex began his order, sticking his head and arm through the window while struggling to recall the last time he ate. “And a McFlurry, please.”   
  
“I’m sorry, sir, the--”   
  
“Ice cream machine’s broken.” He drummed his fingers on the car door peevishly. The lights in the kitchen flickered and the sky above went from sunny blue to inky.“Fine, then, make that a Coke.”   
  
“Happy meal for the kid?”

Alex threw a glance over his shoulder. He found Joshua insouciantly resting the side of his head against the cold passenger window, not watching anyone in particular, but staring out the glass nonetheless. Alex waited for Josh to speak. A few awkward moments rolled by until Alex interrupted the silence with chagrin. “Make that two Big Macs, actually,” the older brother corrected. He knew his little sibling well enough.

“They forgot the damn straw again. Of course they did.” The car was parked in the McDonald’s parking lot, while Alex held his uneaten burger in one hand and the drink he eyed sullenly in the other. He resorted to unlidding the cup while turning to make sure his brother was eating. Sure enough, Joshua had been wolfing his meal down with no sign of stopping for air.

To no one’s surprise, this only led to a coughing fit interrupting his dinner. “Woah!” Alex set the burger onto his lap while Josh glanced up at him, startled. “Easy, there,” he hissed, removing the sandwich from the boy’s hands. “I didn’t get you this for you to choke on.” He wagged the food with every few syllables, for emphasis. “It’s not going anywhere, so try not to suffocate, ‘kay?” 

Joshua nodded vehemently, though his eyes lingered on his half-eaten dinner. Alex returned the burger to Joshua, who began eating again at a more reasonable pace. “Jeez…” He brought the soda to his lips, and downed a mouthful before asking, “Did they forget to feed you or something?” With his dark circles and sharp appetite, Joshua gave him the impression of the Siamese that used to wander outside a snack stand in Sheperd’s Glen. It would pester customers with rasp meows until Alex would split his chicken wings with it behind his parents’ backs. The sensations that overwhelmed him while watching Joshua eat were like what he sensed while feeding alley kittens. Pity, agitation, and a hint of guilt. 

By the time he was through with his meal, Joshua had licked the sticky white sauce in the corners of his mouth and wiped the gluey smear off his cheeks while Alex watched awkwardly. Josh wasn’t exactly known for model table manners, but he ate so carelessly Alex began to suspect the kid had hardly eaten in days. Guzzling one last mouthful of coke, he held the cup out towards the boy. Alex shook it with encouragement. “What? Don’t like Coke? I know you do, though dad never let you have any.” 

Joshua’s sweet tooth had been evident ever since he swiped two packs of  _ Wrigley's Spearmint _ from Olson's Hardware Store, for which Adam grounded both brothers. Alex shunned Joshua for a week after that--much to Joshua’s guilt. It wasn’t until long after that Alex discovered Josh had stolen the sweets on a dare. He would’ve refused to shoplift altogether had Joseph Bartlett not promised it would impress Alex. Joey seemed to have recognized Josh’s loneliness now that his older brother spent less time with him and more with teenagers his age. 

Alex particularly liked Elle Holloway, Josh had observed. “You always call Elle cool. So, I thought if we’d split the gum while canoeing, I could tell you how I got it an’ you’d say I was cool,” Josh explained years ago, surprising Alex with his candor.

The thought of living in a time when Alex could shun his brother without thinking twice about it or worry about little beyond getting grounded made Alex smile nostalgically. Being holed up in his room and ignoring Joshua’s persistent knocking was never a memory he expected to look back on with fondness, but there he sat, grinning wistfully at the recollection. He supposed returning to his hometown only to find that it’s gone to hell in a handbasket made his childhood seem all beers-and-skittles. Alex’s smile brought Joshua’s attention to the rusty red staining his upper lip. The boy accepted the proffered soda. He sipped slowly, finding the fizz startling after his numbing sedation, along with the acidic scent suggestive of sugar. 

Alex reclined onto his seat as he went on, “So, are you ever gonna answer my questions? Frankly, I was surprised you acted so...unfazed when you saw me. I don’t know--” He shrugged. “I guess I can’t expect you to take in what’s going on with all that anesthesia dad’s got you under.” 

Much to Alex’s irritation, Joshua continued to noisily sip soda without responding. “...Right, you know what?” He leaned over towards Josh again. Alex withdrew the Coke from the boy’s small hands, which wasn’t difficult considering how weak Joshua’s grip was. “I’ll give this back to you, okay?” He promised. “And I’ll get you some fries, too. I just need you to answer my questions.”

Josh didn’t react, which Alex read as a sign of comprehension. “To begin with, do you know who I am?” Met with silence, Alex made another attempt: “Do you even know who... _ you _ are?” Joshua’s eyes weren’t wide with bewilderment, nor did they slant into Alex’s with hard curiosity. Instead, they were level with the dark placidity of a midnight pond.

Reassured by Joshua’s expression of familiarity, Alex compromised and returned the cup. “Good enough, I guess.” Alex had to admit that he wasn’t too sure himself, but it would also be risky to push Josh too far. “We’ll get you your fries when you’re done with that.” Joshua’s legs gave two small kicks of anticipation.

Now that Joshua held the fries outside the restaurant’s double-doors, Alex wondered if the batch was too big for his little brother after the Big Mac and Coke. Not that he’d mind finishing it off for the kid if Josh couldn’t. Joshua plucked one chip at a time and chewed so slowly it astounded Alex, whose pace was generally closer to at least five fries a second. He could only observe this while the restaurant graced them with its fluorescent light filtering through glass, which faded the farther they walked. Eventually, they found themselves wandering in the dark parking lot under a starless sky and a new moon.

Alex felt Joshua linger close to him, tugging on his shirt now and again with a quivering grip. He followed Josh’s gaze towards an empty spot. Despite its vacancy, Joshua never took his eyes off that particular area. It was as if something--or someone--towered over the two there that Alex couldn’t perceive. “The bogeyman,” he’d recall Joshua explain to him once or twice before, paired with a sketch of an ax-wielding creature with a pyramid for a head. Josh’s bad dreams never ceased. Still, he stopped scrambling into the top bunk with Alex when the elder brother finally granted him a flashlight to keep him company instead. 

Just because Joshua had to lose sleep every night thanks to his incessant nightmares didn’t mean Alex should be forced to as well.

This reminded Alex of the same flashlight in his breast pocket which he retrieved from their bedroom and couldn’t imagine using after the whole ordeal in Shepherd’s Glen was over. It was like Alex forgot his belongings were chiefly used by common civilians daily, rather than a means of fending off death. He flicked the instrument on and unintentionally shone it in Josh’s eyes, which didn’t blink and went from leather-black to a brilliant cognac in the light. His pupils were dilated, and a line creased the space between Alex’s eyebrows at the recollection of swimming in Toluca Lake and emerging all too fast from the dark depths of the water to harsh sunlight. Perhaps the sedation was a blessing in disguise.

Alex unlocked the car door and gestured with slow, subdued motions for Joshua to climb in. He watched Josh curl up on the seats like a cat, then Alex yawned. Swinging the door shut with one hand and rubbing his eyes with the other, he wondered how close the nearest motel could be. Perhaps the map in the glove compartment could direct him to one. Alex clambered into his car and found all his vigor drained as he slid into the seat, dropping his head onto the steering wheel.

Perhaps he was too drowsy to safely drive. He peered over his shoulder towards Josh, whose eyes flickered several times before they focused on Alex’s. Joshua gradually lifted an arm and empty palm towards his big brother, opening and closing his hands a few times in a beckoning motion. Alex pushed himself from the steering wheel, wondering if he was always as heavy as he felt then, before disembarking the car and closing the door twice only because it hadn’t been properly shut the first time. Drowsy feebleness was a pain in the ass. 

He made his way towards the passenger’s entrance, and when he opened the door, Joshua’s feet hung over the open edge. Alex tucked them back in, pushing Josh’s spindly knees to crush the box of fries to his chest. Joshua only continued to stare. “What’s up, buddy?” His deep voice had been throaty with enervation.

Joshua’s hands searched for the hem of Alex’s t-shirt. He tugged on it so forcefully he could’ve jerked the man down on himself had it not been for the vast difference in size and strength. Alex read the look in Josh’s eyes as...inviting, perhaps. Even bright with anticipation. “Oh.” When Alex finally caught on, he cleared his throat awkwardly. A teenager huddling in a bunk bed with his pint-sized baby brother was one thing. But, was the man even going to fit into the back of a car without crushing the poor kid?

Joshua seemed to expect Alex to figure it out himself. So, Alex obediently rested one knee onto the back of the seating while using his arms to lift his brother, then climbed in. 

It took countless shifting and adjustments to lay both bodies across the seats and close the door. Yet, when they had managed it, Alex didn’t feel any less tense. Joshua’s bare cheek nuzzled against Alex’s stubbled neck. His arms bent under the M-65 and folded on top of one another on Alex’s chest. 

It had been years since Alex felt anyone so close to him. Even the faint presence of Josh’s narrow frame pressed against Alex overwhelmed the man with both relief and unease. Something wet trickled down Alex’s neck, a dripping sensation that bolted him awake. He turned to check on his brother, which was when he discovered the root of the damp warmth was Joshua’s tears.

“I thought--” Alex would’ve never heard Joshua whine under his breath had the boy’s mouth not been next to his older brother’s ear-- “I was scared you... _ forgot _ me.” 

Alex enveloped Joshua’s waist in his strong arms, whispering, “Shh-shh,” into his ears. Josh could only cry harder, shaking more violently in Alex’s grip and wetting his unshaven neck with more hot tears. From Joshua’s hair, Alex caught the fragrance of their bathroom--medicinal steam on porcelain. 

Alex squeezed Josh’s torso tighter and tighter. He pressed his lips to the rim of Joshua’s ear, the way Lillian used to when Alex would run to her in tears. Alex learned to do the same when he grew old enough to be trusted with his baby brother on his lap. 

Eventually, Joshua’s whimpers subsided. He sniffled for a while.

Alex rubbed Josh’s shoulder as the boy’s voice faded into a yawn or two. The older brother closed his eyes without noticing his own smile. They knew the bogeyman couldn’t prey on boys who weren’t alone—that was their unspoken agreement. 


End file.
